The Reframe

I was feeling so good this morning! For about an hour.

Then I started feeling puny again and got really sad.

Then I remembered that I had taken some ibuprofen at 5 and gone back to sleep which is why I woke up feeling better. I was so depressed.

I was beginning to think that I 'am' this sick, blah, lazy person. What I needed was a 'reframe'. In therapy we sometimes help people 'reframe' their problem. It's just another way to look at things that's more helpful. In my reframe I thought about what I had accomplished in that hour when I thought I was well. I actually got quite a bit done and felt like my old self again. I was happy, even a little bit bubbly and energetic. I kind of liked that girl.

That's who I will be when I am better and I will be better soon. Maybe not today or tomorrow but soon. Until then I can keep enjoying rest and I can trust myself a little more and give myself a break.

I AM FEVER FREE!!!

I'd love to sit and blog but I've got a to do list to get started on!

Have a GREAT DAY! I am going to!

Things I Will Do When I Feel Better

1. Buy mums.


2. Get out my fall decorations. I don't care how hot it is. School has started. Fall decorating may BEGIN!


3. Have a romantic date with my husband that doesn't include the words "I am so tired!"


4. Start "Couch to 5K". I have decided that running three mornings a week for 30 minutes would be the best type of excercise for me. I would get a little sun, be outside during my favorite time of day, and be doing something good for my body.


5. Trim the bushes around my house.


6. Buy some fall potpourri. I love Aromatique's Cinnamon Cider!


7. Make a delicious meal and serve it on a beautiful table setting.

I CAN'T WAIT! Right now though, I am going to rest.

Mono?

I have mono.

What!? Yep. Mono. No. I'm not a teenager.

So, in true 'make lemonade from lemons' fashion here are some thing I am enjoying as I REST (warning, I am using my Blackberry for these pictures because it would take too much energy to go get my camera):

I have finished 4 out of 16 granny squares for my crocheted bag. I like them! It's getting kind of hard to come up with variations that I like but I think I'm up to the challenge.
Charlie and I both love Tia Rosa Megathin chips. He has come to believe it's his birthright to have some anytime I am eating them. This belief began with the primary way he earns his keep, which is cleaning up things I drop on the floor while eating or cooking. Then I realized that he recognized the sound of the Megathin bag being opened and came running.(What? No! I'm not a sloppy chip eater!) Now he just sits down beside me while I'm eating them and we share.

More Fun At Home

Today my fever stayed pretty close to 100 and I was feeling cruddy this morning so I had to reschedule my sessions. After going to the pharmacy - and being very glad I didn't see anyone I knew since I was still in my pj's, don't judge, they look kind of like clothes - I came home and decided to do my best to enjoy the day off rather than feel sad about not going into the office. So here's what I've done so far.

I almost finished Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. I hope to finish it tonight. After seeing the final movie I realized I hadn't really had time to read the books as they came out and began reading them. I'm really enjoying them. I had to get this one from the library but I also ordered it from Walmart because I want to own the whole set.
Then I watched "You've Got Mail", which is my sick day movie. Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks were such a perfect match and I love Meg's store and apartment. At the moment I can't even remember their character's names. Let's just call that fever brain.
As I was watching the movie, I worked on making this bag. I've tried a couple of times to make it and couldn't figure out the pattern but today it seemed easy. That's one of my favorite things about crafting. Your ability and knowledge increases without much effort just through the enjoyment of the craft. Here is what it looks like so far.
After the movie, I painted my toenails. I have decided to spend my pedicure money a different way so I am going to try doing my own toe nails again. I will miss the three week pedicures the professionals do. No matter what I try, my home pedi's never last more than a week but it's worth it. I used sparkles as a top coat and I like 'em!
Well, I'm starting to feel woozy again. I think I'll crash. I wish I could pull my feet under the blanket but I'm pretty committed to this pedicure.

What's your favorite thing to do on sick days? I'd love to hear some ideas. I'm afraid this may not be over for me.

This morning in celebration of 3 weeks of fever and tiredness I have been surfing the internet. Yes, I'm getting treatment and I may even be getting better.

But, I thought I would share a video with you that I have found inspiring this morning. It would probably be better than sharing the junk that's in my brain today.
I can't quite figure out how to get the video into my blog so I'll just give you the YOUTUBE address. (just click on YOUTUBE).

And here's a poem that the speaker mentions in the Ted talk. It's really good. I think?

Totally like whatever, you know?
By Taylor Mali
www.taylormali.com

In case you hadn't noticed,
it has somehow become uncool
to sound like you know what you're talking about?
Or believe strongly in what you're saying?
Invisible question marks and parenthetical (you know?)'s
have been attaching themselves to the ends of our sentences?
Even when those sentences aren't, like, questions? You know?

Declarative sentences - so-called
because they used to, like, DECLARE things to be true
as opposed to other things which were, like, not -
have been infected by a totally hip
and tragically cool interrogative tone? You know?
Like, don't think I'm uncool just because I've noticed this;
this is just like the word on the street, you know?
It's like what I've heard?
I have nothing personally invested in my own opinions, okay?
I'm just inviting you to join me in my uncertainty?

What has happened to our conviction?
Where are the limbs out on which we once walked?
Have they been, like, chopped down
with the rest of the rain forest?
Or do we have, like, nothing to say?
Has society become so, like, totally . . .
I mean absolutely . . . You know?
That we've just gotten to the point where it's just, like . . .
whatever!

And so actually our disarticulation . . . ness
is just a clever sort of . . . thing
to disguise the fact that we've become
the most aggressively inarticulate generation
to come along since . . .
you know, a long, long time ago!

I entreat you, I implore you, I exhort you,
I challenge you: To speak with conviction.
To say what you believe in a manner that bespeaks
the determination with which you believe it.
Because contrary to the wisdom of the bumper sticker,
it is not enough these days to simply QUESTION AUTHORITY.
You have to speak with it, too.

Complaining

I am really grouchy today. Mostly because I have had fever for most of the last 22 days. Also because the specialist doesn't seem to think my symptoms match my personal diagnosis and doesn't have another explanation or seem to feel the need to look for one. Also because my symptoms go away when I go to the specialist but that's the only time they go away (other than a few days on the cruise). And probably also because I was at the hospital from midnight to 2AM this morning to be told that 1) I don't have fever (for the first time in a few days) and 2) I'm fine.

And just to put some icing on the cake, rather than using that stretchy, non stick tape after taking my blood last night, they used commercial grade adhesive to attach that cotton ball and it has changed the landscape of my arm. Last time the same hospital took blood, the plebotomist didn't put any pressure on the cotton ball at all, which resulted in a large bruise where there is now less skin. And I'm scheduled to have surgery at that hospital at the end of September. I am calling my primary care doctor for a second opinion/new doctor tomorrow.

I'm also grouchy because the big dog had to be inside all week due to our fence being down and my puppy, aka my serotonin enhancer, has developed a disgusting crush on him. This may not sound like a big deal to you but I have had to be inside most of the week due to having fever, the big dog had to be inside all week due to the fence being down, and the puppy who would usually be a source of laughter and enjoyment has become a source of grossness and constant need of correction.

Okay, so apparently I'm going to have to just adjust my attitude.

Let's see . . . I made a new smoothie recipe today. It was pretty good and could be great with a lot more sugar. I also found a recipe for a melon martini that I plan to try very soon. Tomorrow I am making a new crescent roll, egg, sausage roll recipe for breakfast and later this week I'll make a new slow cooker recipe for supper. So, all of this house time is going to be good for something. We may get fat but we'll be happy.

. . . And the big dog is now in his crate, which he likes, and the puppy is curled up contentedly beside me, which I like. The big dog can spend more time outside now that my husband fixed most of the fence and put a barrier up for the fence part that Lowes and Home Depot were out of - there has been a rush on fencing around here thanks to a crazy straight wind storm that blew through while we were on our glorious cruise.

Remember the cruise? Ah, yeah mon! Just thinking about Jamaica makes it better . . .

To Paint or Not To Paint?

We allowed our kids to pick their rooms' paint colors when we moved into this house. My daughter picked 4 colors of olive and tan. Our painter was not thrilled. My son picked navy blue. When he moved to college this week she moved into his room and he will move into her old room, which is smaller, when he comes home.

I bought this bed at a garage sale and I love it.

I planned to put it in my daughter's room when she moved to the navy room and just polish it up a bit. The side rails especially need attention, as you can see. But now my daughter has decided she doesn't want the bed in her room. I think she just doesn't want to go through the hassle of putting it together and doesn't want me to mess around in her room. She's Miss Independent and always has been.

So, now I have this gorgeous bed that I will use in one of the bedrooms in this house. We have two black dressers and I want to have a black and blue room. Here is an inspiration picture that kind of communicates the color scheme.


We have a comforter set that is more like this minus the pink:

So, here's the big dilemma - I'm thinking about painting the bed black. What do you think?

Fun

Carnival calls its ships Funships and there's a good reason for that. There's a party by the pool all of the time, movies on a great big screen every night, and the waiters and waitresses sing for you at the end of dinner and even dance with you occaisionally. Our waitress was Anoma and it was her first cruise. She did a great job, knew our names, and danced with Micayla one night. We loved her!

In the Grand Caymans we went snorkeling and swam with stingrays. Actually, in the interest of truth in blogging, I should admit that my family snorkeled and swam with stingrays. I was in the water with the stingrays for long enough to realize that I needed to take some pictures and spent the whole snorkeling time trying to figure out how to breath through that thing.

The last stop was Cozumel. We went to a private beach there too. Nelson made a beach sofa. Wade floated around on a raft.

And Micayla and I got henna tattoes.



I got a butterfly which represents new life to me and Micayla got a lion for the Lion of Judah. I feel a little bit like telling people it's not a real tattoo now that I'm home but that's exactly what I loved about the cruise. I didn't feel like that one time on that ship.

Joy

On our cruise there was so much joy.
SO.
MUCH.
JOY.

I realize this picture may not mean joy to you but let me tell you what it means to me.

While were in Montego Bay, Jamaica we went to Seawinds Beach Club for an excursion and it was heavenly. It was day three of the cruise and I had rested for the previous two days. While we were at the Beach Club we kayaked, we sailed, we got braids, we ate, we snorkeled, we blissed out.

When we arrived back to the ship, I went to the side to watch the ship leave the dock and there was a group of Jamaicans dressed in military garb, playing drums and brass instruments. I love a drum circle so I was already in heaven. While I was watching that, these two ladies danced into the circle. They were on their way to reboard the ship and began dancing with the military man who was dancing in the circle and I felt this surge of JOY that I can't really explain. They were so joyful and it was such an perfect expression of how I was feeling.

So, in honor of the joy that Jamaica brought to us, here are some pictures from that day:

Yeah! Mon!

Nelson's braids and beads

These guys were playing 'When the Saints Go Marching In' as we got back on the ship.

The drum circle - LOVE!

Rest

We are back from our vacation and it was exactly what the doctor ordered. Literally. Friday I was in my doctor's office after a week of fever and doctor's appointments being told, 'if you can rest on the cruise, you may go. If you can't rest, you can't go."

Um. Twist my arm. I guess I'll rest.

So, the first couple of days I rested. I slept in our room. I slept on the deck. I sat in the shade while my hubby sat in the sun. I read a book. I slept some more. I crocheted. I slept some more. I ate. And I ate. And I ate. And I slept. By day three my fever was finally gone.

If you have never been on a cruise, you must go. It was the best combination of fun, rest, beauty, and joy that I have ever experenced. I am officially a cruise fan.

Heading to College

We just returned from the best vacation we've ever had! We took a 7 day Carnival cruise to the Western Caribbean and it was WONDERFUL!

I'll write about that as this week goes along but the big news for TODAY is that my son is going to college tomorrow! We become OSU Cowboys tomorrow! I'm not sure how we got old enough for this but apparently we are.

Writing and Other Unfinished Projects

I may have given up on my book. I haven't decided.

I want to write a book for teenage girls about self image and dating. I am really excited about the topic. I know the chapter titles. I have some thoughts that I haven't seen anywhere else. I used to have a column in the local newspaper that got a lot of good feedback. My best friends and my mom and (decades ago) my college professors tell me I have a knack for writing. I always thought I would be a writer in this phase of my career. You know - the phase where your kids are in college and you want to travel occasionally rather than being tied to an office every week.

In the past the writing fairy visited me somewhat regularly and I assumed that would continue to happen as I turned my eye to writing an actual book. But NO! Not one word that I feel is inspired or beautiful has been put on paper for this project. In two and a half years. That's a dry spell, folks. Don't get me wrong. Lots of words have been put on paper. A few of them have been saved to the 'book' file on my computer. But I have yet to reread any of it and think I would be willing to publish it.

A friend who is older and wiser and who I visit occasionally to ask for her wisdom asked me if I had asked Jesus what He wants to say in my book or if He even wants me to write a book. She encouraged me to be willing to lay it down if I don't feel like He is writing it through me. That's probably good advice. It's different than what I read on the writing blogs I visit but it is more in sync with what I believe about inspiration and being Spirit led, or at least it's more in sync with how I have been led up to this point in my life. The professional writers that I know write every day and that is the most common piece of advice I see - write every day.

It is possible that I am learning something about myself and that something may be that I am not a writer. I am a counselor. I enjoy writing occasionally but maybe this book writing dream has always been about something other than becoming who I really am. Maybe it's just me trying to be something I'm not. At 45 I am okay with that idea. I like who I am and I trust the Lord to provide for our family in every way with or without me publishing a book.

So, I'm layin' it down. If I pick it up again it will not be because it is the 'next step'. It will be because the Holy Spirit is leading me in His strange, unique to each one of us, lovely way.