It has been a long time since I've "blogged". In part that is because I have allowed myself to become so busy that I have hardly had time to catch my breath, but also it is because what I have been wanting to write about is hard to say. I am going to attempt to write about it now because I don't see many people writing about it in a way that doesn't just hurt me to read it, but I may not be able to say these thoughts in a way that is not hurtful because the topic is painful.
As I watch and read about the Jewish holocaust, I frequently think, 'will we wake up someday to the horror of abortion and feel the same as the Germans at the end of the war?' I think about a famous man's daughter who, when finishing a tour of Aushwitz, wrote in the guest book 'why didn't anyone do anything?' and I wonder if our grandchildren will ask the same questions of us. I mean, I have a Planned Parenthood that I drive by frequently. Do they do abortions in there? If I think it's murder (which I do) and I am aware of the horrifying type of murder that it is, shouldn't I be more active in my fight against them or at least find out if they are killing babies there? Will I be able to stand before my grandchildren and say 'we didn't know what was going on in there'?
When I think this, I am always very aware of how offensive this comparision can be to the Jews. However, if anyone can watch "the silent scream" or see other pictures or videos of abortion (see youtube videos if you want to. I won't post them here because they are so disturbing that I can't stand to see them again myself) and not think that is a horrific thing to do to a human being, I don't understand their thinking. And in America alone, we have done that to 50 million babies since it became legal in 1973. That doesn't even take into account the slaughter we have paid for in other nations or the permission other nations felt from our leadership in this area and the babies that were killed because of that.
History can be a harsh judge. How will future generations look back on how we handled this crisis of conscience in America? Maybe 30 years ago we could say we didn't know but now we do. May we not look away. May we not turn our backs on them but may we, as a nation, turn from this tragic practice and value human life.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Monday, May 4, 2009
Spiders
Saturday night I was in "mega cleaning" mode. I was windexing everything in the kitchen and cleaning the oven when I grabbed a glove from under the sink. After cleaning the oven, I took off the glove and went on windexing. Pretty soon I felt something like a sticker on my shoulder and kind of rubbed at it but ignored it. Then I felt a similar sensation on my, ahem, "chest". I rubbed it and then looked down my shirt to see what the heck was going on down there and a !!!!SPIDER!!!! was squirming around in my bra!!!!!! EEEEWWWWW!!!!!!! Of course, I freaked completely out and called for Wade to come rescue me!!!
We put the ugly on a paper towel while Wade looked on the internet to see what kind it was and - sure enough - it was a fiddleback, also known as a brown recluse, also known as the harbinger of death! So we loaded up and went to an after hours clinic. The nurses there were completely freaked out by our friend in the baggie and the doctor said they don't really treat that. He recommended that I go to the ER because "they will probably put you on intravaneous antibiotics and steroids". HHHMMM???
So we called the poison control center and our family doctor's office on-call doctor. They both recommended that we go to the ER. The doctor said the only thing that really works for this kind of thing is an electric shock therapy that they only had at one hospital in the area. Well, we went to that hospital even though it was out of our network only to be told that they don't do that therapy. As a matter of fact the doctor there actually told us "I'm sorry they sent you here. There's really nothing you can do at this stage. If your skin falls off enough that you need a skin graft, that will be a surgical consult."!!!!!! So basically, if I lose a large enough chunk of my skin and underlying tissue to require a skin graft(!) I can get that fairly easily, probably due to adult stem cell research (see, I had to get my prolife thing in here, didn't I?) but they don't have anything to treat a stupid spider bite!? Yeah, it didn't make sense to me either. The ER doctor told me to contact my family physician on Monday.
Sunday morning I woke up feeling okay other than an aching shoulder and got ready for church. While getting ready I noticed that I looked like I had a sunburn but didn't worry too much about it. During church I began to feel cold pricklies and Wade noticed that my rash was getting worse. Also, I was becoming more emotional than usual (for those of you who know me personally, you are thinking, 'wow. That's a big deal!'). So I went down to the youth area to tell my favorite 7th grade girls that I woudn't be with them this week. A few of them had invited friends and we had a huge "small group". It would've been so exciting to get to know those girls under normal circumstances, but under the current verge of tears circumstances I was glad I had made other arrangements. I explained to them why I wouldn't be there, told them about an upcoming laser quest party, welcomed the new girls, handed over my charades paper slips to Kelly (our amazing girl's pastor), and headed home while I still could.
When I got home I took a great nap and woke up feeling some better although I was now bright red and itchy. The house smelled amazing because Wade had turned our pork roast from earlier in the week into delectible spicy barbequed pulled pork sandwiches on onion rolls. It was delicious. Then Wade went to take a nap. Since I was feeling kind of puny from the exertion of eating that sandwich (!), I went to lay down too. He had the television on and I took that as an invitation to talk to him as he fell asleep - waking him at that exact almost asleep point three times - very out of character for me. I usually try very hard to let people take naps because being awakened from a nap prematurely is an issue I can become homicidal about. I felt terrible, especially since he had been taking such good care of me. He was pretty irritated and went to "run some errands".
While he was gone, our 16 year old son decided that he was going to go to a movie with a friend. I told him I thought it was a bad idea on a Sunday evening and he argued with me about it which I was totally not in the mood for. I told him to call his dad, who said sure he could go to the movie. GGRRR! When Wade came home I was so mad that I packed up some stuff to go to my parents - which I have never done. Wade talked me down a little and I ended up going back to bed after a rant about everything under the sun. I am married to a saint!
So this morning, I woke up and my first thought was "I feel better today! Wait . . . I can't really see very well . . . what's going on there?" I went to the mirror and didn't recognize the face looking back at me. My face was swollen and my watch, which is usually very loose, was tight. Oh yeah, the rash was worse. And to really freak me out . . . the rash feels a little bit like a spider crawling on me! Oh yeah! Have I mentioned the "waking nightmares" I have been having of spiders crawling out of my shirt? I'm really looking forward to my brain being normal again!
So I made an appointment with my family doc. He was shocked that the ER doc hadn't given me any meds and said that at least three times. He even told me that a man who had a bad outcome with a spider bite had successfully sued a doctor for not prescribing the medicine he prescribed for me. He put me on a steroid and a leprosy medicine (to help me not lose large chunks of skin - I love that man!) and recommended that I rest for two days.
I came home after taking ibuprofen to my daughter for her orthodontist pain (from the appointment I took her to this morning before my doctor's appointment). The school secretary walked her to the car so I wouldn't have to go inside. Then I called my mom, arranged for she and my dad to pick up the kids, and went home and went to bed for the day. My mom brought us a wonderful dinner.
About an hour ago I started feeling pretty good. At supper my daughter mentioned that she needs cookies for her Spanish class tomorrow. I told her we could buy some on the way to school tomorrow and she said "but all my friends think your cookies are the best and they are expecting me to bring them!" Well, that worked! The combination of compliment and guilt trip sent me straight to the kitchen. I'm a sick woman and not just from spider bites!
I think I may be over the awfulness of this. Thank you all for your prayers. And thank you Dr. Dickinson for medicine. And thank you God for all my wonderful friends, my family, and my doctor! I am blessed!
We put the ugly on a paper towel while Wade looked on the internet to see what kind it was and - sure enough - it was a fiddleback, also known as a brown recluse, also known as the harbinger of death! So we loaded up and went to an after hours clinic. The nurses there were completely freaked out by our friend in the baggie and the doctor said they don't really treat that. He recommended that I go to the ER because "they will probably put you on intravaneous antibiotics and steroids". HHHMMM???
So we called the poison control center and our family doctor's office on-call doctor. They both recommended that we go to the ER. The doctor said the only thing that really works for this kind of thing is an electric shock therapy that they only had at one hospital in the area. Well, we went to that hospital even though it was out of our network only to be told that they don't do that therapy. As a matter of fact the doctor there actually told us "I'm sorry they sent you here. There's really nothing you can do at this stage. If your skin falls off enough that you need a skin graft, that will be a surgical consult."!!!!!! So basically, if I lose a large enough chunk of my skin and underlying tissue to require a skin graft(!) I can get that fairly easily, probably due to adult stem cell research (see, I had to get my prolife thing in here, didn't I?) but they don't have anything to treat a stupid spider bite!? Yeah, it didn't make sense to me either. The ER doctor told me to contact my family physician on Monday.
Sunday morning I woke up feeling okay other than an aching shoulder and got ready for church. While getting ready I noticed that I looked like I had a sunburn but didn't worry too much about it. During church I began to feel cold pricklies and Wade noticed that my rash was getting worse. Also, I was becoming more emotional than usual (for those of you who know me personally, you are thinking, 'wow. That's a big deal!'). So I went down to the youth area to tell my favorite 7th grade girls that I woudn't be with them this week. A few of them had invited friends and we had a huge "small group". It would've been so exciting to get to know those girls under normal circumstances, but under the current verge of tears circumstances I was glad I had made other arrangements. I explained to them why I wouldn't be there, told them about an upcoming laser quest party, welcomed the new girls, handed over my charades paper slips to Kelly (our amazing girl's pastor), and headed home while I still could.
When I got home I took a great nap and woke up feeling some better although I was now bright red and itchy. The house smelled amazing because Wade had turned our pork roast from earlier in the week into delectible spicy barbequed pulled pork sandwiches on onion rolls. It was delicious. Then Wade went to take a nap. Since I was feeling kind of puny from the exertion of eating that sandwich (!), I went to lay down too. He had the television on and I took that as an invitation to talk to him as he fell asleep - waking him at that exact almost asleep point three times - very out of character for me. I usually try very hard to let people take naps because being awakened from a nap prematurely is an issue I can become homicidal about. I felt terrible, especially since he had been taking such good care of me. He was pretty irritated and went to "run some errands".
While he was gone, our 16 year old son decided that he was going to go to a movie with a friend. I told him I thought it was a bad idea on a Sunday evening and he argued with me about it which I was totally not in the mood for. I told him to call his dad, who said sure he could go to the movie. GGRRR! When Wade came home I was so mad that I packed up some stuff to go to my parents - which I have never done. Wade talked me down a little and I ended up going back to bed after a rant about everything under the sun. I am married to a saint!
So this morning, I woke up and my first thought was "I feel better today! Wait . . . I can't really see very well . . . what's going on there?" I went to the mirror and didn't recognize the face looking back at me. My face was swollen and my watch, which is usually very loose, was tight. Oh yeah, the rash was worse. And to really freak me out . . . the rash feels a little bit like a spider crawling on me! Oh yeah! Have I mentioned the "waking nightmares" I have been having of spiders crawling out of my shirt? I'm really looking forward to my brain being normal again!
So I made an appointment with my family doc. He was shocked that the ER doc hadn't given me any meds and said that at least three times. He even told me that a man who had a bad outcome with a spider bite had successfully sued a doctor for not prescribing the medicine he prescribed for me. He put me on a steroid and a leprosy medicine (to help me not lose large chunks of skin - I love that man!) and recommended that I rest for two days.
I came home after taking ibuprofen to my daughter for her orthodontist pain (from the appointment I took her to this morning before my doctor's appointment). The school secretary walked her to the car so I wouldn't have to go inside. Then I called my mom, arranged for she and my dad to pick up the kids, and went home and went to bed for the day. My mom brought us a wonderful dinner.
About an hour ago I started feeling pretty good. At supper my daughter mentioned that she needs cookies for her Spanish class tomorrow. I told her we could buy some on the way to school tomorrow and she said "but all my friends think your cookies are the best and they are expecting me to bring them!" Well, that worked! The combination of compliment and guilt trip sent me straight to the kitchen. I'm a sick woman and not just from spider bites!
I think I may be over the awfulness of this. Thank you all for your prayers. And thank you Dr. Dickinson for medicine. And thank you God for all my wonderful friends, my family, and my doctor! I am blessed!
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