Day Two

Just got the email that she has arrived!

 

The email said

"This is to inform you that your loved one has arrived safely in Pemba without being eaten by wild hogs or carried away by huge roaches. Praying that it continues this way for them:)"

Great sense of humor they have there in Africa ...

 

I'm so excited for her great adventure! Thank you Lord! 

Day One

This is Day One of my girl being gone.  This morning (afternoon there) she arrives in Africa. 

 

Last night at about 10:40 I wondered what time she would get home and remembered that she will get home in 3 months.  3 months.

 

This morning I took a bath in my ridiculously large (and wonderful) bath tub and thought of whether or not she will have water to wash her face tomorrow morning. 

 

Today I carry her in my heart before the Father.  My Abba.  The one who sees us both and knows every need we have before we have it. 

 

And I remind myself that a layed down life happens in Mamas too.

 

He is good.

 

He is worthy of more than I have to give and I have given my best.

 

 

Addendum to my previous post

I just went back to read the John Piper article again and came across this story within a story that I want to share:

" J. Oswald Sanders was going to be in chapel. Eighty-nine years old. Veteran. Great missions leader. And I said to myself, “Shall I go public and risk having to talk to a lot of people and getting dinner engagements and all this stuff and not getting anything done?” But I wanted to hear him, so I snuck into the back of chapel and listened to him. And this 89-year-old man stood up there, and I was just oozing with admiration and desire to be like this when I’m 89. And he told a story that so embodies Colossians 1:24.

He said there was once an evangelist in India who tromped across the roads to various villages preaching the gospel. He was a simple man, no education, loved Jesus with all his heart, and was ready to lay his life down. And he came to a village that didn't have the gospel. It was late in the day and he was very tired. But he goes into the village and lifts up his voice and shares the gospel with those gathered in the square. They mock him, deride him, and drive him out of town. And he was so tired—no emotional resources left—that he lies down under a tree, utterly discouraged. He goes to sleep not knowing if he’ll ever wake up. They might come kill him, for all he knows.

And suddenly, just after dusk, he is startled and wakes up. The whole town seems to be around him looking at him. He thinks he’s a goner. He starts to tremble, and one of the big men in the village says, “We came out to see what kind of man you were, and when we saw your blistered feet we knew you were a holy man. We want you to tell us why you got blistered feet to come talk to us.” So he preached the gospel and, according to J. Oswald Sanders, the whole village believed. That’s what Paul means by “I complete in my sufferings what is lacking in the afflictions of Jesus.”

Now I have one other little parenthesis about J. Oswald Sanders. At 89 years old he said, “I’ve written a book a year since I was 70.” Eighteen books after 70! There are people in my church and all over America quitting on life at 65 and dying on the golf course in Nevada, when they ought to be laying their lives down among the Muslims like Raymond Lull."

Yearning

I am going to try to put some thoughts into words this morning quickly because I have to leave in 30 minutes for the office.  A few thoughts are swirling in my mind this morning.  In my usual ADHD fashion, they seem disjointed and yet there is a common thread running through them.

While my breakfast was cooking in the microwave I picked up my Bible and turned to Isaiah 61.

"The Spirit of the LORD God is upon me, because the LORD has anointed me to preach good news to the poor, he has sent me to bind up the broken hearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound."

Then I took my breakfast to my bed and finished the t.v. show I was watching last night about a college professor with schizophrenia who helps solve crimes.

After I ate, I read my facebook feed and found this glorious article by John Piper waiting for me. Some quotes from the article:

"I get very tired of people coming to look at staff positions in my church, which is in downtown Minneapolis. We all live in the inner city, and one of the first questions they ask is, “Will my children be safe?” And I want to say, “Would you ask that question tenth and not first?” I’m just tired of hearing that. I’m tired of American priorities. Whoever said that your children will be safe in the call of God?"

" . . . the Moravians. In northern Germany two of them were getting on a boat, ready to sell themselves into slavery in the West Indies, never to come back again. And as the boat drifts out into the harbor they lift their hands and say, “May the Lamb receive the reward of his suffering.” What they meant was that Christ had already bought those people. And they were going to find them by indiscriminately preaching the gospel, through which the Holy Spirit would call them to himself."

 So, here is what I am burning to say this morning (so much that I am writing this instead of blow drying my hair - big sacrifice, I know):

I have ADHD and God is glorified through it because it's how he made me and he has anointed me to preach good news.  Just like the guy on Perception (the t.v. show) whose schizophrenia brings both great suffering and great ability into his life, my weaknesses are given to me by God and I will glory in my weakness today.  I don't want to be safe.  I want to be useful for the Kingdom - the great Kingdom that is coming and is here and will never end.  The Kingdom whose King is so glorious that someday when the sun burns out, we will no longer need the sun because his glory will light our world.

Today I am presented the opportunity to live a laid down life.  To struggle with the missionaries around the world against principalities and powers in my little suburban, comfortable office in one of the 'nicest places to live in America'. God, grant me the burning heart to go where you want me to go and do what you want me to do.  To stay in this uncomfortably comfortable town or to go to dangerous unreached parts of the world - but to stay in your will and bring you glory. 

Ta Dah!!!

 

 

A friend of mine lost everything she owned in the tornadoes in May and it dawned on me about a week later that she might like an afghan for her new house so I contacted a mutual friend and found out her favorite decorating colors.  I'm happy with the chevron look and it was a fun project. 

 

I love crochet! :)

Grieving

Grieving is a funny thing. 

Sometimes it looks like denial.  Surely that didn't just happen.  He didn't say that.  She didn't really go.

Sometimes it is slow and grinding.  Making the days ache painfully by. 

One

Second

At

A

Time

Sometimes it is stabbing pain.

Sometimes it hides it's face and you might believe it is gone.  But no.  It's still there.  Peek. A. Boo.  Hoo.

It's surprising in it's power. 

Sneaky little bastard.

But letting go is part of life. 

And grief is part of letting go.

Letting go of hopes and dreams. 

So that you can embrace here and now.

Made Me Smile

Today in my Facebook newsfeed I had an advertisement with this link:

It cracked me up because anyone who is ordering their graduation announcements right now would be a great customer at my Procrastinator's Store. 

I love it!